Choice

We all have the right to choose.

I’ve learned that my choices sometimes lead me to places I love, and other times to places I’d never return to. But the hardest choice I’ve ever made — the one that changed everything — was choosing myself.

Choosing what’s right for me.
Not what feels good in the moment.
Not what makes others comfortable.
But what aligns with my truth.

Since I began choosing myself, I’ve felt something unexpected: a deep, aching sadness. A quiet sense of not quite belonging.

The teachings about the Universe often say this is part of the path — that awakening can feel lonely, even heavy.
And yet, they also say that God is love. Joy. Peace. Abundance.

Where does that leave me?

I’m living in truth.
But that truth — as honest and sacred as it is — isn’t something everyone can understand.
Or accept.

So what should I choose?

Should I betray myself over and over again just to feel a fleeting sense of belonging — in a family, a relationship, a friendship?

Sure, I might have people around me. I might even feel happy… for a while.
But that moment always fades.
And when it does, the emptiness echoes louder than before.

Or —
Should I choose what I know is right for me?

Not for anyone else’s comfort or approval.

Just… for me.

Some will say I’m lost. That I’m running away. That I don’t know how to live — all because I’ve made choices they wouldn’t make.
But the truth is simple now.

Because I’ve spent days alone.
Crying.
Questioning.
Asking God:
What should I do?

It was a long, painful process.
But I made it through.

And here I am — standing in my truth.
It may not make sense to others.
But it finally makes sense to me.

Yes, I still feel sadness sometimes.
I still get lonely, even when people say I shouldn’t.
But those moments pass.

And what remains is something deeper —
Joy.
Gratitude.
Passion.
A sense of being alive.

The choice is easy now — even though it took everything to get here. 

I won’t abandon myself again.
Not for anyone.
Not for anything.

The choice between longing for connection and honoring my truth felt like a lonely revolution.

But it was mine to make.

And I made it.

This is my truth.
As of today.