Happiness

I did read many books in a search for happiness. I wanted to really understand what I should do to be happy. Every book had some kind of explanation for me, but none was actually telling me what to do to be truly happy. I thought if I learned from others and followed the advice they shared, I would be constantly happy. And instead of feeling better and happier, I was more frustrated and disappointed. No matter what I followed, everything had an end. Because somehow, not only wasn’t I happy, but I was also ashamed of not being happy, because everyone seemed like they were happy, and I wasn’t.

I got tired of learning and searching more about happiness. Every book gave me something. I have learned a lot from all sorts of people. And this knowledge will stay with me forever.

Most of my life, I thought happiness depended on what I had, or where I lived, or how fit I was. Being in a relationship was another factor in my happiness. And yes, all that gave me happiness. Being surrounded by loving people and nice things at home gave me happy moments. But we all know that all of that is only temporary. One day we have everything we wanted, we are in a loving relationship, and the next day all of that can disappear. And with that, our happiness is gone. I wanted my happiness to stay even if people left, even if I couldn’t have everything I wanted, even if I lost things, even if I was in pain.

After years of research and my personal experiences, I created my own definition of happiness. For me, happiness is the consistency of keeping promises to myself. When I follow that, no matter what is happening in my life, no matter the problems I am going through, when I do what I said to myself I would do, I feel okay. I feel good about myself even when someone disappoints me, even when something I was waiting for is not happening, even when I feel ill. I know one thing: I stayed aligned with what I said I would do. For me, that is enough to stay happy no matter what.